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5/19/2009 Some Thoughts after Marching for LifeMy boyfriend said he doesn’t understand why I joined the March for Life in Ottawa every year. It’s true that I’m a busy person, and taking a day off from work to get to Ottawa is not something I would normally do, so I was thinking how should I explain this. I asked him, “If you know a baby girl is being slaughtered to death by her parents in your neighbourhood, would you call the police?” He said yes without any hesitation. “And what if the baby girl is still in her mother’s womb?” I asked. He kept silent. We both know we can do nothing in this situation. But why is it so different? I start to ponder. A baby girl 7 months old can have her life protected by law if she’s born early, but the same baby girl can be burned alive by chemicals or have her brain suctioned out (by partial-birth abortion) “legally”, as long as she’s still in her mother’s womb. Wouldn’t that just be the same baby? And yet it seems so difficult to explain to other people, because they like to define one as the fetus and the other as a human being. But a definition cannot alter a life’s value, dignity and right to live. I would simply feel the same pain to hear that a baby has been killed, no matter if she was killed in her cradle or in her mother’s womb. It would be the same pain. What is abortion? It is a procedure to “make sure a baby is not born alive”. How was a baby girl before she is aborted? She’s living and growing day after day in her mother’s womb, waiting for the day she’s born and see this world. Abortion prevents her from doing so by “having her dead” before she leaves her mother’s body. And people say it is not killing. We all passed through that stage of life, when we were so vulnerable and reliant on our mothers. But being vulnerable doesn’t mean that it is a stage when people can still decide whether we live or die. Even a twelve-year-old gets this (1). Some people believe a “fetus” is still in a very early stage of life and can be "undone" without pain, and in some poor circumstances it’s better that it never existed, both for the mother and the baby’s good. Listen to Gianna Jessen (2, 3). She’s an abortion survivor, who was born during a saline abortion when she was seven and a half months old. Can she feel no pain at seven and a half months old? She has to bear with cerebral palsy as a result of the abortion, but at least she survived it, unlike hundreds and thousands of other babies who cannot, because 99% of the abortions are “successful”. She is adopted by a loving foster mother and she is happy to be alive. She thanks God for her life everyday. I can imagine the other hundreds and thousands of babies would have too, if only they were given the chance. They are just like us. Unfortunately in Canada, in every three of us, there is a fourth person who couldn't make it alive (4). Because of abortion. What about the mother? Wouldn’t she feel painful? Imagine a teenage girl who loves her boyfriend enough to give her body to him, only to see him throwing money at her to have an abortion after she is pregnant with their baby. Imagine a college student being forced into the abortion clinic by her parents, because she’s still in school and has no money to afford the baby, and her boyfriend went to play golf while she has the abortion. Imagine a woman who wakes up on the surgery table, who thought the problem is now fixed, only to hear the nurse saying to her, “Wait, we’re still trying remove all your baby’s parts from your body…” Your baby’s parts. Imagine that… I can’t. How can I imagine having my own baby killed in my body, and delivered out dead piece by piece, by my own choice? It sounds like a nightmare. Yet hundreds and thousands of women have to live with it. Year after year, I hear painful stories from witnesses who spoke at the March for Life in Ottawa, and from people who helped these women, and I feel so sorry for them. Many people say abortion is giving the pregnant women a choice. But have those people really heard what the women want? 80% of them who had an abortion say they would not have chosen it if they have better circumstances and around 75% of them had no other choice because they cannot afford the baby (5, 6). Many of them are unmarried women, or haven’t even finished school. Do they really feel they have a choice? And have we given them enough support? Well, if abortion seems to be a quick fix to the issue, then once the abortion is completed, the issue is considered “resolved”. But is that true? Listen to the women who went through an abortion from the Silent No More campaign. Many of them suffered depression afterwards, because they know exactly what happened and they condemn themselves for it. Abortion is not a quick fix. Both the mother and the child suffered. Who is to blame? The law that legalized abortion? Look, it's more than that. Think about the 100,000 unwanted babies in Canada each year. They won’t suddenly disappear if abortion is not legalized. They can be adopted if not aborted, but why are there so many unwanted babies in the first place? Perhaps the society as a whole should be responsible? The day it starts to break the links between sex, marriage and new life, the day this problem gets out of control. Having sex is an act that can potentially bring new life into the world. This is a simple fact. People can try all kinds of methods to prevent it, so they can enjoy the pleasure of sex without bringing the result into the world. But women’s bodies speak the truth. Having sex is a reproductive act. This link is in all of us. Is there a solution? Well, abstinence is a silver bullet. But take a look at what the schools and health institutions are doing. They distribute condoms instead of emphasizing the truth about sex, pregnancies and abortions. Obama increased fundings for contraceptive-only education and decreased support for abstinence education (8). But condoms do fail and sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies leads to abortions. This is tragic. People doesn’t want to face it though. A graduating senior at Notre Dame complained that the abortion images made her feel uncomfortable, and yet she doesn’t seem to be disturbed by abortion itself (9). True, if she doesn’t see it, she can remain comfortable, as if nothing happens. But people need to see the truth, because the truth is happening and is hurting many people. And when they see it, sooner or later they will accept it. For the first time in more than 10 years, there’re more Americans voted themselves pro-life than pro-choice, and more people than previous years turn to think this procedure should be illegal in all circumstances (10). In Canada, abortion still has no limits. But the voice against it can be heard, and will be heard. March for Life is one way to speak up. More than 10,000 Canadians did (11). I'm glad I did. Be part of this voice, and keep watching. As abortion is a true injustice and evil in this world, this voice against it will not die, but only gets stronger.     9/30/2006 讓失去變為可愛最近在網上看見這篇發人深省的散文﹕
一個老人在行駛的火車上， 不小心從窗口把剛買的新鞋弄掉了一隻， 周圍的人都為他婉惜。 讓人大吃一驚。 老人解釋道：「這一隻鞋無論多麼昂貴， 對我來說也沒有用了，如果有誰撿到一雙鞋， 說不定還能穿呢！」 顯然， 老人的行為已有了價值判斷 ： 與其抱殘守缺不如斷然放棄 。
我們都有過某種重要的東西失去的時候， 且大都在心理上投下了陰影。 原因就是我們並沒有調整心態去面對失去， 總是沉湎於已經不存在的東西。 事實上，與其為失去的而懊惱， 不如正視現實，換一個角度想問題： 也許你失去的，正是他人應該得到的。
普希金 (Aleksandr Pushkin) 在一首詩中寫道： 「一切都是暫時的，一切都會消逝；讓失去的變為可愛。」 有時，失去不一定是憂傷，而是成為一種美麗； 失去不一定是損失，也可能是奉獻。 只要我們抱著積極樂觀的心態，
失去的也會變為可愛。 主耶穌亦有說過類似的道理﹕「我實實在在告訴你們：
一粒麥子如果不落在地裏死了，仍只是一粒；
如果死了，才結出許多子粒來。」(John 12:24)
也許，如果我們懂得放手，讓失去的失去，過去的過去，
自己和別人的人生，反而會更加豐盛。
4/3/2006 探監昨日，我以義工的身份探訪了 Kingston 的 Joyceville 男子監獄。這是我第一次進入一所還住著囚犯的監獄，實在有點緊張。我想﹕探訪孤兒院，我尚能派發玩具糖果，跟兒童們玩遊戲﹔但探訪一班成年的男罪犯，我又幫得上甚麼忙呢﹖特別是經過院牧Rita 的解說後，知道身為女性義工，要特別小心與囚犯們對答得宜，別給他們錯誤的訊息，也別給他們佔便宜云云後，我實在有點苦惱這裡是否我該來的地方。 可是我記得主耶穌基督曾說過﹕「我餓了，你們給了我吃的；我渴了，你們給了我喝的；我作客，你們收留了我； 我赤身露體，你們給了我穿的；我患病，你們看顧了我；我在監裏，你們來探望了我……我實在告訴你們：凡你們對我這些最小兄弟中的一個所做的，就是對我做的。」（Matthew 25:35-40）
我不禁想﹕如果這是為主耶穌基督做的，那麼，我又怎能推辭呢﹖
感謝主，後來一切都來得自然和順利。當他們一個一個來到小禮拜堂，我與其他義工握手迎接時，我發覺他們與平常人無異，只可惜他們不幸走錯路，導致如今失去了自由。後來我們一起在聖堂內崇拜天主、唱聖詩，然後閒談一番，和諧的氣氛令我一度忘了身處的是一個監獄，而是一個普通的聚會。有些囚犯跟我說，他們在裡面已經幾年了﹔他們曾經是基督徒，卻離開了主，犯了事，幸好現在又有機會回到主那裡去﹔其中一個還有不多的時間便能出去了，他希望能重新開始。聽見後，我深深為他們感到惋惜，但也慶幸他們重新歸向上主。我在心裡默默盼望，主在未來的日子裡會陪伴著他們，好讓他們遠離罪惡，重新開始。 雖然監獄裡的五百個囚犯，當中只有十數個來到小禮拜堂，而且聚會中也有一些我難以應付的窘境，但整體來說，我是十分感動的，因為他們比我想像中友善很多，而且看來很高興和感激我們的探訪和問候。其中一個在致謝詞中還說﹕我們讓他們知道，這個社會並沒有忘記或捨棄他們。 或許，這就是我們來這裡的意義吧。 囚犯們離開後，我們分享大家的感想時，Rita 提到縱然他們表現友善，我們也不該掉以輕心，畢竟他們是罪犯，而且有的是殺人犯，也有的是性罪犯﹔其中一個還在一天之內﹐把三個女人用刀狂刺至死（我不知道是哪一個）。我聽見後立時心寒了片刻。我承認在聚會時我確實缺乏了戒心…… 那麼，我該抱持怎樣的態度去面對他們呢﹖ 回家途中，我想起了Rita 在 Salt & Light 電視節目中所說的話。她說曾經有受害者的媽媽來問她﹕為甚麼要幫助這些犯人﹖而當Rita 看見了那婦人被性侵犯過的女兒後，她確實猶豫她還能否去愛那些性罪犯。可是有一天，當某性罪犯在她的辦公室裡侃侃而談時，Rita 竟看見耶穌正坐在他的身側，一邊流著淚，一邊撫著他的頭髮﹗ 想起這番話，我突然有所領悟。或許主耶穌基督正在讓Rita 知道，雖然祂為那犯人做過的事感到傷心得流淚，可是祂還是愛著他，不會放棄他的。 「人子來，是為尋找及拯救迷失了的人。」我想起了這主耶穌基督說過的話（Luke 19:10）。我再一次被主深深的感動，因為無論獄內獄外，我們誰都犯過錯，但主卻從不離棄我們。我也加倍敬佩Rita 在監獄裡服務的勇氣和耐心﹔已經八年了，但為了回應主的召叫，她還是無怨無悔的堅持下去。 我也慶幸我不知道那些人犯了甚麼事而給送進獄中，因此沒有令我對他們心存芥蒂。因為對我們這班義工來說，重要的並不是他們的過去，而是希望透過主的愛和我們的關心，他們會被感化而不再犯罪。 正如他們其中一個所說﹕我們讓他們知道，這個社會並沒有忘記或捨棄他們。如果作為義工能代表社會給他們希望，令他們出獄後能決心遠離罪惡，那麼再多的努力也是值得的。 願主佑他們，也佑 Rita 一切平安、順利。阿們。 10/8/2005 《小企鵝大長征》觀後感回港後﹐第一齣看的電影便是《小企鵝大長征》。
9/19/2005 心情
今天忽然察覺到一件事﹕有些人用膳的時候﹐如果食物的味道不夠好﹐便會開口批評﹐而且往往不是一句起、兩句止。 把食物彈得一文不值後﹐自己固然吃得不高興﹐同桌的親友也會感到掃興……
我遇到這類人時﹐會吃得很痛苦﹐因為有甚麼比糟糕的心情更糟呢﹖ 其實我對食物的要求不算高﹐因為我比較著重吃飯時的心情﹐所以一旦心情被影響後﹐吃甚麼也變得淡而無味﹐難以下嚥。
我不禁想﹕日常的生活裡﹐有要求是好﹐但要求的目的是甚麼﹖ 如果要求達不到﹐結果會令自己不高興時﹐為何就不能放下要求﹐享受現有的呢﹖ 這會是很多人的通病嗎﹖ 我看見現今有很多人生活得不怎麼快樂﹐為甚麼呢﹖ 他們物質上比以往的人富裕很多﹐但心靈卻貧乏得多﹐令我開始明白﹐生活的素質其實不是那麼重要﹐重要的是自己生活時的態度和心情。 很多人不滿現有的生活而感到不愉快﹐但到頭來﹐會否是他們心中的「不滿」奪去了他們的快樂呢﹖ 這問題不論在生活、家庭、愛情﹐甚至自身的層面上﹐其實道理也是一樣。 有多少次﹐我們因為挑剔自己、家人或情人的表現未如理想﹐而破壞了大家的心情呢﹖這樣值得嗎﹖ 對高要求的堅持﹐無疑能令人進步﹔但有時候﹐放開心中的執著﹐往往亦能令自己和身邊的人好過一點。
對於心中「不滿」的取捨﹐全在自己的一念之間﹐ 為何人總喜歡把它留下來﹐弄糟自己的心情呢﹖
8/30/2005 自由的抉擇﹕I choose to stop at a red light!?這陣子，因為好朋友 Rosa 的影響， Everyday you and I are faced with a million我怔了怔，不敢相信她說 I choose to stop at a red light !? 把車輛停在紅燈前，竟是一個自由的抉擇﹖ 如果是這樣的話，這個社會還會有秩序嗎﹖ 還是她正在對大家實行洗腦，嘗試令大家只記得 choice 的好， 然後忘記在 choice 背後，大家可能要付出的代價呢﹖ 事實上，有誰希望自己的抉擇權被別人剝削呢﹖ 你不希望，我也不希望， 所以 ProChoice 無疑是比 Anti-Choice 來得動聽。 可是高舉 ProChoice 旗幟的人有沒有想過， 為了維持社會的和諧與安定， 我們其實必須捨棄某些自由呢﹖ 正如法律，不也是在限制我們的抉擇嗎﹖ 因為每個人得到保障和自由的同時，也要遵守某些規則﹔ 正如大家不希望被別人造言誹謗， 所以整體必須放棄某些用言語攻擊別人的言論自由。 這是一種無可避免的取捨。 當然，有些抉擇的自由，別人是不好插手的， 正如看見有人喜歡 polyamory， 我不能苟同，但我又能說甚麼呢﹖ 每個人也有自己的自由， 我不喜歡，自己不做就是了。 可是影響別人的事呢﹖ 例如當談及墮胎這類敏感的話題時， 看到 "Keep your laws off my body" 等標語， 我就在想，其他人真的不應該介入嗎﹖ 一個個肚裡無辜的嬰兒被殺害， 法律也不該干涉，因為這是母親的抉擇﹖ "It's my choice" 豈不是成了人類做任何「自己」事的藉口了﹖ 那麼當我們看見有人自我傷害呢﹖視若無睹嗎﹖ 這是我們希望見到的社會嗎﹖ 何況，誰說墮胎只是母親自身的問題﹖ 別人閉門虐打自己的孩童，我們便大義凜然地阻止， 何以別人殺害肚裡無辜的嬰兒時，我們就不能理直氣壯了﹖ 兩個情況下，孩子不也有生命，正在一天一天長大嗎﹖ 再者，墮胎對母親身體的傷害，選擇的人又真的清楚嗎﹖ 天知道多少年輕的女子，未有想清楚便作出這樣的抉擇， 而之後後悔呢﹗ 我的立場，其實很簡單﹕ 我們都需要自由抉擇的權利，但不該讓它凌駕一切。 每個抉擇的背後，也可能有不同的代價， 所以抉擇的自由往往需要被規限，來提醒我們， 做甚麼是好，做甚麼是不好。 當然，社會的善惡觀念不一定是對的， 但至少不該被 ProChoice 理論的表面好處蒙蔽了雙眼， 認為有 choice 便是好。 最重要的，是懂得怎樣去「抉擇」， 也要懂得怎樣去「約束」自己的抉擇。 |
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